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The Tender Ass EP by Old Oldman

Old Oldman's The Tender Ass EP may very well be the best worst album name I've ever seen. Whether it refers to the ostensible peace and warmth of its four compositions ("tender-ass") or an actually tender ass, perhaps after a round or two of rigorous spanking, is up to interpretation. Either is just as well, because as little as I know about this Old Oldman, this low-bit EP (a fine 24kbps, courtesy of 20kbps as always) is super chill. It's the uneasy kind of chill though, where the warmth won't last and the watery MP3 compression only serves to enhance the ghostly, blippy, nocturnal murk. It sucks it's only 13 minutes, because this shit stays with you all night.

Getting past the rather weak intro cut "noss", "old dada" and the title track are an excellent one-two punch of contrasting atmospheres. The former's sunshine and birds chirping overhead give way to an especially cool, abrupt beat switchup towards the middle of the track, and all seems less than well once again. No solace to be found on the rest of the album either; the title track's dusty, lurching church organs and the wolves, gunshots, and breakcore-core beats on "outro" remind you that, after dark, neither God nor man can save you out here. Probably best not to linger after curfew, though you'll want this EP to keep you company if it happens. Good luck to you and your ass.

The Tender Ass EP

Essential: "old dada", "the tender ass"
Quintessential: "outro"
Non-essential: "noss"

Recommended if: You've kept your mistress waiting after dark. You know how fond of the paddle she is.
Rating: Great
Download for free on 20kbps