Apologies to the Queen Mary by Wolf Parade

I'd wager that Pitchfork were wrong more often than they were right. Reason: this fucking thing got a 9.2/10. One of the many indie darlings to pop up about the mid-2000s, Wolf Parade are perhaps the best reason for the US to sever ties with Canada. Personally, I liked this record better when it was called Good News for People Who Love Bad News. Make no mistake, this is a Modest Mouse record mixed by someone without ears and sung by someone without testicles. More accurately, songwriting and vocal duties are split between Spencer Krug and Dan Boeckner, and you can count the tracks you'll like just by seeing who wrote what. I know I could.

The messy mix comes right into focus with the opener here, "You Are a Runner and I Am My Father's Son", with its wet, gutless drums lying right underneath the worst vocal performance of 2005 bar none, courtesy of Spencer Krug. Shrill and harsh, this man's vocals are audible herbicide. Dan Boeckner's tracks and detached Beckisms tend to land a bit better, and "Modern World" and "Shine a Light" are quite nice in spite of the awful mixing. See, his tracks are peppered throughout to make you think the record is getting better, but then you get shit like "Grounds for Divorce" (grounds to boycott Sub Pop), and we're back on our ass. Awful. I want to steal Spencer Krug's lunch money.

(There, sushipantsu, you can stop bugging me about this record now. Wash your dick.)