Web Hosting@Somnolescent!

Do you have a website? Do you need fast, dependable servers on which for people to view it? Let Somnolescent keep the lights on for you! Our experts are on the clock 24/61 to keep your site up and running even while you're out living your best life.

Specs Dependable Specs!

We have two computers always at the ready with:

  • At least a Pentium®, maybe higher!
  • 130GB of RAM!
  • Windows® 3.11 for Workgroups®!
  • Sound Blaster® X-Fi® Xtreme Audio! 2

You can rest easy knowing that whatever you need your site for, it'll be always there for your users.

Dragons look cool ok Testimonials!

But don't take my word for it! Listen to what these satisfied customers have to say about the work we've done:

yoshi: (yoshi.somnolescent.net)
"Reliable and good hosting, had no issues whatsoever"
Jake: (status.ryslig.xyz)
"uhh i uhhhhhh i dont use somnolescent hosting"
Cramble: (cramble.somnolescent.net)
"who are you! where am i!"
Sebastian: (/~seb/)
"Your web uploader is slow, you overcharge, your customer service can't even reset file permissions without a 45 minute wait and consulting the man page, and you want me to give you a QUOTE? Here's my quote: You should really hope I never see you in public [...]" 3

Getting started Getting started with Somnolescent!

Ready to begin your journey with the last hosting company? Our plans are extremely affordable and suit almost any budget4 ! Head on over to the Pricing page for more information.

© Some point in the past 30 years Somnolescent. Please don't steal our servers, we need those.

1 Ideally, your site won't break on that seventh day. Ideally.

2 Your sites have never sounded better.

3 Only an excerpt has been posted for legal reasons. Subject is pending an ongoing police investigation.

4 We reserve the right to charge extra if you're stupid rich. Babe, fancy cheeses don't pay for themselves.